11.5.10

Apotheosis of The Heart

My beloved, as you have obeyed and served in my presence but so much more in my absence, find your way out of the pit alone and reach towards salvation on your own. I love you but I feel that I can hate you even more and though these polarities are but the same and draw themselves to one another, I cannot look upon your countenance without a sense of doubt. I'm your sheath as you're my knife, I hold your matter and control your force with a carefully designed whiphand, crushing down like Autumn rain on withered petals.

There is a place which no one knows, a certain place where no one goes where you are alone into the great Unknown. You swim through endless seas of negative light, wade through troubled waters just to reach the sight of something with a purpose, something with a better view, where there is no iniquity, where everything is new. I am the engineer of your soul, the mastermind with blueprints dressed in codes, signs and fashion catalogs. I pour myself from right to left, downwards to the very edge of quantic disproportions and hallucinogenic lies.

I am not the averse state of bliss you try to make me be, nor am I shelled beyond and trapped like you by trans-organic entities. My light is full and in extension, it encompasses both all and nothing. I am both positive and negative tetralemma and my very essence defies all laws of logic and of reason. I am both murderer and victim, divine lamb and infernal butcher. I am not your crutch or other kind of traveling commodity. I am not only the parts which you choose to see. I am both static and dynamic; I am free. Yes I love you boundlessly, but also hate you enormously and I cannot stay much longer just to see you get more closed, losing your form and giving into the transparency of self-deceit. Á dieu!


To Augustine of Hippo, the latent theosexual saint.



10.5.10

Are You Free?

Subatomic energy as avalanche to eyesight
Forms white waves on celluloid
And peels the crust off your heart.
You speak of synchronicities,
Vague post-coitus interpretations
Where there are no coincidences.
You zoomorph each time I touch you
And generate a certain glow
Of bestial-angelic cyclic madness.

Do you know where you are?
Do you know why you are where you are?
Does the back of the medal give you a rash?
Does it hurt that you can't see it neither?
The other side of the moon;
Do you shiver?
Speak in tongues so I can understand
Where's the order
In the chaos of your mind?
Doesn't it scare you to see
Strange glyphs and letters
Forming when you breathe?

You believe you can break and dissolve
The third law of motion
And demolish cornerstones.
You address all your thoughts
To the spheres above
And the neurons below.
But do you believe you can be
More than a particle
Waiting to break free?



3.5.10

Ontologisk utopi

En astral vision
Vid fötterna av berg Zion
Och jag mår elva gånger värre
Av nervcellernas brist på värme.
Under en sjukhusbrits
Hörs skalens skrik
Och jag försöker komma åt
Ett stege att kliva upp på.

En astral projektion
Där kvantfysiken äger rum,
Och jag är bakom dimridån
Och speglar min själ inifrån.
Ibland delar jag mig i två
Men oftast aldrig mer än så
Och alltid återvänder
Till riddarn Newtons regler.

En astral injektion
Och jag är pånyttfödd
Jag drunknar i negativt ljus
Medan mitt hjärta pumpar blod.
Jag skiftar tunnlar snabbt
Det finns varken rum och fart
Och tiden den står still
För jag är alpha, jag är nihil.